Last night I drove home at a decent hour (in terms of the cubicle world), with no plans for the evening. I got in the car and left my company parking lot with hopes of maybe finding a plate waiting for me at home.

I didn't really count on finding any food left over for me though because the problem is that it's very rare for me to drive straight home after work.

Typically, I'll go and have dinner with an old friend, or stop by my favorite diner for a quick bite. So to me, meals are never really something I expect to see when I get home because my family knows I won't be there in time for dinner.

But last night, I just wanted to go straight home.

It might've been that I was still exhausted from a pretty great trip to Vegas, or that I'm most likely going to be pinching pennies until my next check comes in, but regardless of my exhaustion, I had a greater sense of urgency to go straight home. I didn't expect to find any food, or see anyone moving around for that matter.

I actually didn't expect anything, to be entirely honest.

But when I arrived, I found both of my parents sitting at the dinner table, deep in conversation. They greeted me, and continued on. At first, I didn't think anything of it. But then it all started replaying in my head as I was busy trying to wash the smell of recirculated office air off of my face.

They were genuinely enjoying each other's company.

I went back to the kitchen to pretend to look for food in the fridge just so I could see it again. My mom offered me a plate, opened the rice cooker (we were having Chinese fried rice for dinner), and had me serve myself. Then she went back to rekindle the conversation.

Just then I realized, I've been missing out on seeing my parents enjoy their lives together all of this time.

All of the late hours in the office, all of the dinners with friends, all of the diner runs, all of the outings...I've been out of my house so much, I haven't even noticed that I've lost my sense of family and of love.

I'm not really sure why I was so moved by this particular moment, because I've seen it before, but I guess perhaps it has a lot to do with the fact that I've been trying to make so many positive changes in my life lately in an effort to regain my sense of creativity for writing more music, and just writing, period.

I've been in a funk for quite some time and as much as I'd like to think that it has to do with all of the elements in the universe, it really just has to do with the fact that as an artist and a musician, I have to take the time to really sit and process moments in life that have meaning in order to connect with anyone that just so happens to hear anything I write or work on.

Music to me has really started to become more of a personal catharsis, and unless I decide to treasure and savor moments like last night more often, I won't write anything valuable and meaningful. I guess sometimes it pays to stay in. If anything, a home-cooked meal always tastes better than a Denny's club sandwich.

Post by: Sankeyz